Women may have massively joined the labor market, but the family issue has not yet been resolved. Several feel the imperative to choose between career or children, at the risk of losing in both. We addressed the question with Francisca Gagné, a career counselor who addresses parenthood and professional identity issues in practice.
In 2019, Francisca Gagné experienced the question of returning to work intimately; with a young child at home, she could not see herself returning full-time to the office. The compromise for her was to start her private practice alongside her role as a mother. At the same time, she developed an interest in issues related to motherhood and returning to work in her professional practice.
“Having a child is a huge upheaval. Some people have great difficulty finding the motivation to return to work,” she observes.
Society, too, sends sometimes contradictory messages:
“People around us can tell us that it’s important to enjoy the time we spend with our children when they are young. At the same time, we feel social pressure to work, to pursue our career and to perform, not to spend too much time on our parental leave. Mothers face an ambivalent discourse, which puts pressure in both directions,” she confides.
“Accept that each one is different”
A month ago, the career counselor launched a support group for moms on maternity leave who wish to “better know themselves, feel less alone in their new life as a parent, balance work-family and plan their return to work.” She insists that there are no ready-made solutions. There is no model, choice or order of priority better than another. Her approach is done through listening and kindness.
“Each mother is unique and has the right to exist according to her own preferences. A mother has the right to want to return to work quickly, just as she has the right to want to stay home longer. Both can exist. In a support group, the idea is to accept that each one is different and has her own preferences. The idea is to normalize a variety of options.”
Through her private practice, Francisca Gagné guides the conversation to help mothers better know themselves, then helps them establish decision criteria.
“Sometimes, there are life constraints that mean we cannot reach an ideal situation immediately. But it’s something we can plan for the long term.”
Also, Francisca Gagné encourages mothers to seek the help and accommodations they need, whether from their partner or their employer.
“In my counseling processes, I notice that fathers contribute more and more in a family role, but there is still a gap. I help mothers assert their needs more and set their boundaries. To ask for more support from the other parent. This also involves discussing with their employer to see if it’s possible to do remote work for example. For a young parent, it can make a big difference.”
The solutions will be imperfect, hybrid, perhaps temporary. To find them, we must undoubtedly listen more to the main interested parties.
